@CatherineLMK: A study was just published that shark attacks happen most often in water. Now I have to worry about the ones that occur elsewhere.
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@LunchJournals: "I'm a big fan of 50 cent. Or as he's known in Zimbabwe: four hundred million dollars."
@juliussharpe: I just hope this Justin Bieber thing doesn't make all yellow Lamborghini owners look bad.
@Aspersioncast: So what do you pack for the end of the world? I'm thinking lots of toilet paper, oh and guns to protect my toilet paper.
@claudiaa_haleyy: I hate that "You know what to do" voicemail greeting, because if a recently unfrozen caveman calls, I bet that makes him feel pretty bad.