@WhatevaConc: A surprise Hunger Games competition for everyone who makes eye contact with me today in the office.
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@Donnie_Fairburn: "Son, hey son" Yeah dad? "Know why we named you Adopted?" *Sighs* Because I'm adop- "BECAUSE YOU'RE ADOPTED" Good one dad "I'm not your dad"
@bigmacher: Ugly sweater day at work. I'm wearing a new, really nice expensive sweater but walking around saying "ugh, please, this old thing."
@DennisLWeaver: Friend: I love FB but it's gettin a lil boring. Me: Well that's cause all the cool peeps are on Twi- ..uh are all dead. Yeah they all died.
@Tmoney68: Stephen Hawking says artificial intelligence could destroy the human race. Sorry Stephen, but my money's on LACK of intelligence.