@WhatevaConc: A surprise Hunger Games competition for everyone who makes eye contact with me today in the office.
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@JediGigi: I just tried to start my car with my phone. You should know that my car has a keyless ignition. I'm pretty.
@sarcasm_inc: *at a loud house party* Is this your- I SAID IS THIS YOUR HOUSE? I NOTICED THE DOG BOWL. WHERE IS HE OR SHE, I'D LIKE TO PET HIM OR HER
@mexinonblonde: *handsome, young man walks up* HYM-Ms. Me-Hold it Jr. Yes, I'm sexy. But young guys aren't my thing. HYM-You've toilet paper on your heel.