@UberFacts: A survey found one in five women have ended a relationship because their significant other was too busy playing video games.
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@SirEviscerate: Under 'medical history', we were hoping for something more specific to you personally. You wrote "Fleming discovered penicillin in 1928".
@blimeyguvnor: I got the lyrics wrong and partied like it's 1599. Now my kitchen smells like roast peacock and I can't get this horse off my couch
@sixfootcandy: Me: Mmm...I love your milky white skin. Him: Ma'am are you registered for this class? Me: Yes Him: Step away from the CPR doll and sit down.