@UberFacts: A survey found one in five women have ended a relationship because their significant other was too busy playing video games.
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@KeetPotato: [me and some other dude wearing the same shirt at a party] me: "how did we both fit in this lmao"
@Rollinintheseat: The most valuable lesson I learned from Hey Arnold is that it's okay to punch mouth breathers in the face.
@jaslakhmna: The new Exorcist movie plot: Family hires the devil to get a priest out of her son!
@daemonic3: 50 Shades of Grey is my favorite movie about a dog trying to read a map of the United States.