@lecalabara: A tanning bed is a panini grill for people.
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@Chloestylo: Just saw a car with "Just Married" on the back window. Do people still do that? Get married, I mean..
@Lisa_Laughs_: Detective: Where were you on the night- Me: Twitter Detective: Between the hour- Me: Twitter Detective: I wasn't fini- Me: Twitter
@nachosarah: when I have dinner with a vegetarian I order two steaks to use as a bun for my third steak
@YeahDrewisOn: My girlfriend is: - super sweet - light as a feather - pink - melts in my mouth when I eat her - always at a circus - possibly cotton candy