@lecalabara: A tanning bed is a panini grill for people.
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@Brampersandon_: *catches son swearing through sign language* "We don't use that language in this house" *hands him hand sanitizer* "You know what to do"
@phalguy: I wrote a book titled: How Dragons Are Greater Than Unicorns Daenerys Targaryen wrote the foreword. All she wrote was: No shit Sherlock!
@FattMernandez: I got a bracelet that posts where I ran, and how far to facebook, and I put it on a deer. So it just looks like I'm lost in the woods.