@Paige__xxx: A taser but for people who say "it is what it is".
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@UncleDuke1969: Missed Connection: I was on the train. You were running for the train. Our eyes met. You reached out to me as the doors were closing, but the train pulled away. Please contact me. I have your left hand.
@david8hughes: [egg store] Me: what kinda eggs are these? Clerk: chicken eggs Me: u got dog eggs? Clerk [holdin up a sign saying meet me out back in 5]: no