@jjhartinger: A telemarketer called and said,"can I speak with the man of the house." I replied, "sure" and gave the phone to the cat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@McKnightyBoo: My 17yo pretends he doesn't understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you're finally a man
@Cheeseboy22: Some jerk called me "pretentious" so I called him a "planktupus." I can make up nonsense words too.
@rebrafsim: [thrift store] Me: I'd like one thrift, please Cashier: sir, we sell used- Me: money is no object C: we don't- M: I need a thrift