@Cheeseboy22: A terrible baby shower game idea is called, "Have a man come in and guess which woman at the shower is pregnant."
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@jergarl: When I was a kid I used to ask my my papa... "Whatcha doin?" Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.
@fro_vo: [spelling bee] Your word is "redacted" can you use it in a sentence? The ██ ████ is █████ ████ and ██ ████.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
@CorkyKneivel: I loathe tweets like "Be somebody's beautiful tragedy". Might as well tweet using a random word generator. "Be golf brisket honkytonk"