@danjan13: A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah's ark.
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@drhappyknuckles: Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad.
@floydimus: "I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!" Brain: LOL Empty bottles: LOL Wine shop owner: LOL New bottle: LOL Bottle opener: LOL Liver: LOL Me: LOL
@freypalm: My dad: See, when you said you'd met a "special someone" we thought… Me: Go on. My dad: Me: [taking hold of the penguin's flipper] GO ON.