@danjan13: A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah's ark.
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@Papa_Mex: -I'm just gonna have 1 drink before dinner -I'm just gonna have 1 drink with dinner -I'm just gnna hav 1 aftdinr drk -I pishd ma pnts gen
@titanrn: Wife ran into my ex girlfriend today. I asked if she still looked good? Always wondered what the worst thing I could say was. That was it.
@themiltron: interviewer: why do you want this job me: i've just always been very passionate about not starving to death
@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis reaches for his iPhone but accidentally grabs his iPad and screams because he thinks he's shrunk