@shutupmikeginn: A trailer in a movie theater ended with "November 20th" and a guy loudly said, "thats my birthday" and a random guy said "happy birthday"
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@withanewname: After a failed college project to fight hunger, Clark decided to focus on fighting crime and thereby dropping a p from Supperman.
@onlxn: TRUMP: I'm gonna lose, huh? RYAN: Yes. [silence] TRUMP: Thank God. RYAN: I know TRUMP: I'd be SO bad at it RYAN: We literally all might die
@Ideal_Victoria: [At a psychic fair] Psychic: Ask whatever you want to know. Success? Work? Love? Money? Me: Can you tell me where my car keys are?