@shutupmikeginn: A trailer in a movie theater ended with "November 20th" and a guy loudly said, "thats my birthday" and a random guy said "happy birthday"
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@samuelhlowe: - Police, open the door. - What do you want? - We just wanna talk. - How many of you are there? - Two. - Well just talk to each other.
@BuckyIsotope: Barry? Yes Joe Can I borrow Air Force 1? I promised this girl we'd eat at the Pizza Hut in France No Joe *Biden slams fist* THIS IS BULLSHIT
@JamieGreenlees: My GF left me because she said I lied about stupid things. I was so upset I ate a car park :(