@shutupmikeginn: A trailer in a movie theater ended with "November 20th" and a guy loudly said, "thats my birthday" and a random guy said "happy birthday"
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@stephenjmolloy: Mafia boss: "I want him swimming with the fishes!" *later at the coral reef* Me: "This is amazing!" Mafia boss: "Anything for you."
@Vice_Queen: Roughly 60% of my childhood was spent trying to do the crane kick after watching Karate Kid.
@notacroc: [alternate universe where jesus christ's name was jeffy spaghetti] ME: *hears some horrible news* jeffy spaghetti
@matsmoustache: I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit.