@TylerHendrix: a trip to the doctor
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@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: Can the baby come out to play? Pregnant wife: No, honey. She's not ready yet. 3-year-old: Wife: 3-year-old: Babies are lazy.
@iYoungKhalifa: Saw a man at the beach screaming, "SAVE ME..I'm drowning". I instantly uploaded his pic, captioned "1 like = 100 prayers" on facebook..!!
@welone1: Before you judge a woman, walk a mile in her shoes. After that who cares? She's a mile away and you've got her shoes.
@JakeAupperle: Cashier: Cute kid, how old? Mom: Thank you, 28 months & 4days. What's my total? Cashier: Your total is 756 quarters & 8 dimes. #cashierlife