@TylerHendrix: a trip to the doctor
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@PieChord: The only time my ex will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground.
@neiltyson: Don't know whether to be disturbed or enchanted that the word sesquipedalian is onomatopoetic
@thatdutchperson: [first date] Her: know what you're getting yet? Me: a burger and one of those coloring menus. Her: oh, you have a kid at home? Me: no.