@dreamthievin: A true Columbus Day sale in a mattress store would mean all the merchandise is infested with smallpox
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GingaSnapppa: I asked a millennial why she spent so much money on her wedding. She said you only get married once, then I laughed and laughed.
@bacon_gillepic: A client on the phone accidentally said they love me before they hung up Not gonna lie it felt good
@sleepwalkingdog: Lois: "I saw Batman yesterday. He's put on a lot of weight" Clark: *lowers glasses* "More like Fat- Lois: "Oh my god it's Superman"
@bingowings14: I haven't said a single truthful thing on here since I became the King of Sweden.