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@wittybigtwittys: A valentine?
IN THIS ECONOMY?!?
@SortaBad: Me: goodnight moon
Moon: It's 6pm
Me: I know but I'm tired
Moon: I literally just got here
@MatMarcotte12: I don't normally shit with the door open but I don't want to miss the in flight movie
@KalvinMacleod: Steps to survive on a dessert island:
1. check spelling
2. if correct, enjoy
@aka_fatman: Therapist: It's been 8 years since the death of your parents. How are you coping?
Bruce Wayne: I dress as a bat and beat up strangers now.
@iRandumbs: If I learned anything from Forest Gump it's that people who love to run are retarded.