@Molly_Kats: A Victoria's Secret commercial will always come on when you're elbow deep in a bag of Doritos.
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@meganamram: Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won't send MY dog to obedience school
@13spencer: [Office] Secretary: Mr. Grey will see you now. Anastasia Steele: I have a ridiculous name.
@batkaren: Accidentally ran the wash with Ecstasy still in a back pocket. Now my jeans are freaking out, and the zipper won't stop grinding its teeth.