@Molly_Kats: A Victoria's Secret commercial will always come on when you're elbow deep in a bag of Doritos.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thecoliny: DATE: so what kind of writing do you do? ME: um, cursive, regular… DATE: no I mean- ME: actually I can't do cursive :/
@TheDairylandDon: October's cool because you can buy 60 Snickers, 48 beers, a hockey mask, chainsaw, 30 leaf bags and the cashier won't even acknowledge it.
@ObscureGent: Me: How’s it going? Coworker: Can’t complain. Me: Try harder. Coworker: Life is meaningless. Me: Atta boy.
@Bob_Janke: Squirrels don't want to wear shoes no matter how cold it is I tell the emergency room physician