@RdrJay47: A virus that wipes out every photo filter across the internet but leaves the photos.
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@vapidaccount: ProTip: Make sure heated seats are off before putting your purse on them...lipstick melts.
@WritePlay: ME: So are you gonna put it in me or what NURSE: Sir it's a blood draw please stop saying that
@theshamingofjay: I change Siri to a man's voice and now it doesn't answer any more questions and turns off for hours
@MrEd_EVH: -gestures to everything in the Garage- Me- THESE ARE MY TOOLS AND I AM THEIR KING!!! Wife- YOU'RE a tool Me- DAMN RIGHT I AM Wait..what?