@Carbosly: A walk of shame is always sad. Don't make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
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@ElKnuckelhombre: Everybody's talking about the super obnoxious drunk guy at the bar last night. I was at that same bar and I didn't even notice him. Weird.
@GrrrRach: If Jehovah's witnesses brought red wine and Pringles with them, I'd gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion.
@kaytaa: Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo". I shouldn't laugh right?
@ojedge: [on a first date] "Have [gestures across the whole menu] whatever you want. I hear the McRib is particularly excellent this time of year."