@Schmoodles: A WASP LANDED ON MY BARE FOOT AND NOW I KNOW HOW TO RIVERDANCE.
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@thetits: [texting] ME: I like you, I think you're cute MY CRUSH: oh um ME: HAHAHA omg my dog was chewing on my phone lol how did he type that
@kyry5: The reason I switched from a backpack to a messenger bag is so that I look more classy and professional carrying nothing but snacks to work.
@generaldietz: Baby Soldier: Ma'am. Your husband is MIA. Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands* Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too.