@MafiaJoker78: A watch dog is like a regular dog,only it can show you the time.
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@heatherlou_: Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub.
@DeeLish_DG13: I sometimes feel like the Angel on my shoulder is on vacation & the Devil invited his cousin over for a play date
@panmidwest: ME: omg I love your accent! Say that again! MY AUSTRALIAN WIFE: You're shallow and selfish. I'm leaving you and taking the kids.