@envydatropic: A watched pot never boils but a pot left unattended burns. So you see my dilemma.
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@Thynebear: [first date at a chinese restaurant] "So are you more of a dog or a cat person?" *reading menu* I was thinking orange chicken but you do you
@PaperWash: *jesus turns water to wine* me: you can't just insert goods into an economy you'll cause deflation Jesus: my child- me: NO! it's bullshit!
@shivillex: North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: Rapping, Son. North West: mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
@OreoSpeedwagon_: After seeing a commercial for Toddlers In Tiaras, I realise Darth Vader wasn't the worst parent ever.