@13spencer: A wedding is like inviting your family and friends to the dock to watch you leave England on the Titanic.
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@Schmoodles: Apparently, when your boss asks you to get a cake for a coworker's 60th birthday, 'cake' is not code for 'stripper.' Live & learn, guys.
@djdarrellripley: Her: Remind me if I'm ever on life support, not to have you in charge of pulling the plug. Me: Yea, like I could get in front of that line.
@Nikkeya08: "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.." Him: Do you have to say that everytime we visit my mom?