@13spencer: A wedding is like inviting your family and friends to the dock to watch you leave England on the Titanic.
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@ixSEANxi: Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I've only done that with pizza
@AddTequila: Whenever I meet a girl with tattoos, I get excited. Because I know she's legal and willing to do stuff she may regret.
@papasuncle: When your bucket of KFC starts talking about the afterlife, that is some deep fried chicken.