@FrauFickenDammt: A white man beaten with a wheel of Parmesan claims it was a hate crime. Cheese on cracker investigation begins.
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@WheelTod: A zendetta is when you launch a blood feud against a killer who murdered your entire family, but remain pretty chill about the whole thing.
@SilverCricket9: #HowToEscapeADate No matter what he's talking about, bring the conversation back to your cat. "I love to travel." "My cat's an explorer."
@TheCatWhisprer: *intermittently glances at phone while placing order for 6 burritos so the Chipotle lady thinks they're for multiple people*