@SaraMansford: A wine tasting? Where people SPIT OUT precious wine?! Sure, maybe we could go to the humane society and watch them put puppies to sleep too.
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@TheMichaelRock: I bet all this shit started because someone told Trump he couldn't be president and Trump said "hold my beer, watch this"
@samalmightysam: You're born, you grow up, have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive, you die, your kids have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive......
@Home_Halfway: BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired
@robyn_vo: I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed.