@bigmacher: A wireless bra? They weren't tricky enough, now I need a password?
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@WheelTod: [Date] Her: Any hobbies? Me: Monging mostly. Her: Huh? Me: I'm a monger Her: Huh? Me: Iron, fish, war... You name it -- I'll monger it
@PetrickSara: What I say: Play outside. What my kid hears: Find a spot in the yard where I can't see you so I constantly imagine you've been kidnapped.
@YeahDrewisOn: Me: One last drink and then I'm off to the petting zoo Her: Aren't you too drunk to bring the kids to a petting zoo? Me: I have kids?