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@causticbob: A wise Chinese man once said,
"If a dog barks it's undercooked"
@Mike_Bianchi: The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
@stephenjmolloy: Job interviewer: "Why do you want to join the Secret Service?"
Me: "It's a secret."
Job interviewer: "You got the job."
@C_J_Commode: I've reached the point of laziness where even laying around has become too much for me to handle.
@SteveKoehler22: *Brings weed to church picnic*
What ? The invitation clearly said :
"Pot luck; bring something to pass."
@markydoodoo: The Macarena was just a tutorial on how to fold a sweater.