@ClearlyUnwell: A wise man once said nothing.
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@dave_cactus: ME: Sorry I'm late, I had computer problems. BOSS: Hard drive? ME: Nah, there was no traffic, just the computer problems.
@Dr_awfulpants: If your boss says "Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you supposed to be in at 8am?" don't correct them. Its a trap. They hate being wrong.
@Brampersandon_: DATE: gonna grab my jacket and brb. you look great by the way ME (whispering to my suit made of chameleons): hell yeah keep it up you guys
@CatherineLMK: Be warned, person who set of a whole bunch of fireworks at 4 am--you've made a minimally powerful enemy.