@YesImMatt: A woman could tweet "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I'm not dead ;)"
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@Terdoh: If aliens are only on the quest for intelligent life, then Earth really has nothing to worry about.
@outsmartedmommy: The doctor told me I need to rest so I dropped the kids off at his office & now he won't stop calling me as if that's going to help me rest.
@House_Feminist: Thanks McDonald’s for adding two order lanes that require everyone to cooperate and merge so I can be driven to a blinding rage and lose faith in humanity all before I get my fries