@_xLNc: A woman drives into a bar.
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@dubiousgenius: WIFE: Having your phone in your jeans pocket will make you infertile & stop us having more kids ME: *shoves 10 phones & microwave in pocket*
@Andee_Stewart: My teenaged daughter just asked me how to spell U2. Fingers crossed for that athletic scholarship.
@GloriaFallon123: My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today "what poison would kill someone the fastest?" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her.