@_xLNc: A woman drives into a bar.
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@sammyrhodes: Every time I lose a sock I like to imagine it went to set one of Dobby's house elf friends free.
@LucTabone: My son has the ability to predict what will happen in the future and later explain why it didn't happen. I think I'm raising a politician.
@TribalSpaceCat: [stop light] It will turn green in 5 4 3 2 1.. And Now It Will Turn Greeeeeeeen *turns green* Ah yes nailed it.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: 4: *hops in my lap* Mama, look at my picture! Me: Love it 4: See green M: Yep 4: And blue M: Mmhm 4: And red M: *flushes toilet* ok, hop up.