@SufficientCharm: A woman isn't really heartbroken unless she does something drastic to her hair.
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@brunopieroni: Just ran into Björk walking into her hjötel. Ljöking fjörward to her show at Pitchfjörk tjönight (hjöly shit my Icelandic is pjërfect).
@DiamondLou69: My co-worker was accused of flipping off the boss. I told HR that it couldn't have been him because he never lifts a finger to do anything.
@fro_vo: [First Date] Me: so can I see you again? Her: I had a nice time but I don’t think so Me: *stops holding in stomach*