@KentWGraham: A woman saying "I'm not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won’t feel a thing."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@stevevsninjas: So few educational toys today! As a kid, my Tonka dump truck taught me not to pinch the shit out of my finger between two metal parts.
@Reverend_Scott: [car wreck] [hand reaches out] "Take my hand. I'm Chad Kroeger from the popular band Nickelback." [I let the flames slowly bake me alive]
@ImABaconDonut: One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.