@RobinMcCauley: A woman started choking in the line at Starbucks- it was so scary but thankfully someone opened another register.
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@AlanHungover: No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don't Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
@ilovepie84: After killing a spider I wrap the web around his neck and hang him from the wall to make it look like a suicide.
@IncrediblyRich: I'm going to skip home tonight because sometimes life is seriously brilliant. *throws confetti*