@GloriaFallon123: A woman told me at dinner she liked me because I'm "not afraid to eat bread"--so I'm done with socializing for at least a year thanks
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@GlennyRodge: "Do you like Tolstoy?" "Of course. Who doesn't?" "What's your favourite book?" "The one where Woody is kidnapped & Buzz tries to save him".
@jwoodham: Not all white people die in hot air balloon accidents, but only white people die in hot air balloon accidents.
@PaperWash: [grocery store] dad to his crying baby: shhh stop crying [baby keeps crying] me: wow, your baby does not listen
@ibid78: [A-ha rehearsal] "Here's the lyric: Take On Me." "What about Take Me On?" [4 hrs of arguing later] "Ok we'll say both. Now let's get perms."