@GloriaFallon123: A woman told me at dinner she liked me because I'm "not afraid to eat bread"--so I'm done with socializing for at least a year thanks
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@Jez1: You text him, he doesn't text you back. Obviously he was so excited that you texted that he fainted.
@rockymomax: Her: u have a choice its me or the megaphone Me: fine Her: good Me: [puts megaphone directly to her ear] I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE
@SCbchbum: My gal pal: "Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!" Me: "Poverty."
@dumbbeezie: Naked and Afraid but it's just you in someone else's bathroom with a toilet that won't flush