@BlairLoudly: A xenophobe eh? I'm scared of the warrior princess too but I wouldn't call it a phobia.
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@thenoahkinsey: Gerard Butler: Can I get sugar? Waiter: This is sugar. *GB stands pissed* GB: THIS..IS...SPLENDA!! *GB kicks waiter through glass panel*
@sixthformpoet: People who ask themselves what Jesus would do seem to forget just how badly things worked out for him.
@lucidchemistry: 10 likes this girl so I'm going to teach him everything I know about women long story short we're getting our bikes to ride around her house
@isabelzawtun: The local children surround me, trying to build a pyre. I'M NOT A WITCH, I shriek, my witch-like shrieking doing me no favours whatsoever