@smutmidget: AA meeting
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@Beerhaze: Having a wife and daughters, I try bottles in the shower until I find one that doesn't burn my balls and wash myself all over with that one.
@SeptapusDenny: CNN writer: how's this - my phone is missing. CNN exec: meh Writer: It was on AIRPLANE mode! *CNN exec absolutely loses it*
@WilliamAder: I got free pancakes on International Pancake Day. International Women's Day is now almost over and I think I like pancake day better.