@smutmidget: AA meeting
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@proEXgirlfriend: Telling people to ban same sex marriage cuz of your religion is like telling the supermarket to stop selling junk food cuz you're on a diet.
@JaneBadall: My son just paced back and forth dictating his letter to Santa like a high-powered CEO. Forget Prada, the Devil wears Ironman pyjamas.
@AristotlesNZ: Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: I don't have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough.
@solikebasically: One time a cute guy I liked mooned his friend as a prank but there was a tiny piece of toilet paper in his crack & it haunts me to this day