@daplusk: "AAAAHH EARTHQUAKE!
Oh good, now it is snowing"
- If I lived in a snow globe.
@joshandbeyond: I always try to hold the door open for women I see walk by, so we can talk and get to know each other. But none of them will get in my car.
@TheCatWhisprer: Golf is probably fun if you like walking around outside in business casual.
@bigTman001: Cop: You know why I pulled you over sir?
Me: Because you suck at finding rapists, murders, molesters, thieves, and arsonists?
@rocknthepurple: I don't know why so many people blame their air conditioning for their inability to spell.
@Tmoney68: Okay, raise your hand if you put raisins in your oatmeal cookies.
Great. Now, make a fist with that hand & punch yourself in the face.