@Mikecanrant: Aardvarks aare so aanoying. Aalmost everything theyre aasociated with is aanoying. I get Aangry just thinking aabout them. Aalso Aarons.
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@jordan_stratton: *coworker walks into bathroom, triggering the motion sensor that turns the lights on* ME: [from one of the stalls] Welcome.
@icecube: Stealing endorsements is not how you become the president of the United States, homie. Leave my name out ya mouth...