@mollymcnearney: About four minutes into any run I decide to work on my personality instead.
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@StarksWeek: "Holy shit, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
@Cheeseboy22: A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort; it is equal to one night. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers.
@MommaUnfiltered: My daughter asked me if I know how to do the Running Man, like my generation didn't invent it. Anyway, that's what brings me to the ER.