@DamienFahey: About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
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@Storminika: My friend just broke up with her man. I really helped her through the break up by letting her know he's no good in bed anyway.
@rmfnord: If I was a ghost, I'd write "Happy Birthday" in blood on your wall for your birthday, cuz you may be cursed, but it's still your birthday.
@causticbob: I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It's true. After going to the gym earlier I've decided I'm never going again.
@iamspacegirl: autocorrect: Tim! me: No no, autocorrect, this is TOM we know him. autocorrect*growling*: Tim. me *spritzing phone with water*: NO.