@DamienFahey: About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
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@lilgapeach30: Stepped on an action figure in the shower and simultaneously invented six new cuss words in four different languages.
@stuckinaportal: regrets? [thinks back to the time i drunkenly watched Spy Kids 3-D & it forever ruined my netflix recommendations] yeah i've got regrets
@themiltron: we call em houseplants like thats where they belong but its just where we put em thats like if u threw me in the sewer & called me sewer boy