@CrystalMoon214: About to go out and make some foreign dude's night by butchering the pronunciation of the food I'll be ordering.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@underchilde: [lying naked in bed] Her: Tell me your fantasy. Me: Well, I get in my car to drive to work, and for the entire trip, there is no traffic.
@TheBoydP: “Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable…” ~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out
@knot_eye: I often wondered what it'd be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while.