@jeffswarens: If you stare at a 6 year old when they're eating a banana split, they hold it real close and eat faster.

@5hael: Sorry I threw sliced bread at you when you were taking a duck face selfie

@LoveNLunchmeat: Yesterday my daughter asked how babies are made, and I gave such a terrible explanation she now thinks babies come from eggs.

@ericsshadow: 1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have 'lady problems' then start crying. It works even better for guys.

@goldengateblond: I'd ... I'd rather not.