@hippieswordfish: absolutely despicable that gingerbread men are forced to live in houses made of their own flesh
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@Chumpstring: I like to shit with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Ugh, the coffee is too strong Me: There is no strong coffee. Just weak people.
@kcmoore51: 13: I have a friend that doesn't like baseball, chocolate, or bacon. Me: Pretty sure that's not a friend, bro.
@thegreatnanak: I'm like a squirrel. If I'm crossing a road, and a car comes by, I never know what to do. I just go mad.