@hippieswordfish: absolutely despicable that gingerbread men are forced to live in houses made of their own flesh
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Adar79Angie: When I bend down to feed the cat she leaps onto my back.When I try to stand back up it's the saddest tiny rodeo you've ever seen.
@Rlpihl: [driving 2 school] *looks back,sees toothbrushes in child carseats WAIT! IF YOU'RE HERE THEN... [cut to kids at home, covered in toothpaste]
@BeerBatterBeard: You'd think that the guy in charge of putting pepperoni on frozen pizzas would've been up for a performance review by now.
@KevinFarzad: If you're an astronaut and you don't end every relationship by saying "look, I just need space" then you're wasting everyone's time.