@myonlymizztake: AC changed bail to basil, and now I'm sitting in jail with some lovely herbs.
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@dafloydsta: [asking a girl out] ME: So do you have a dog? HER: Yes, I do. She's very playful. ME: *nervously* Do you know if she's busy later?
@joejwest: [vet school] ME: Welcome, students. Hope you brought textbooks because- [spins cat on finger like basketball] -I have no idea what I'm doing
@hasht4g: If Pringles really wanted the fun to never stop they'd make those tube things like 5 feet long.