@haleysfalling: accidentally added a "z" to the end of the word "think" in a text and suddenly my jeans are sagging below my ass and i have 3 chains on
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@lawyerthoughts: *throws phone over courthouse metal detector. catches phone on the other side. resumes conversation*
@emireecraire: Public transportation not only helps the environment, it also makes you hate the human race
@SadieSkyNinja: My favorite part about ordering a salad on the first date is going into the bathroom and eating 6 mini donuts.
@maymay72x: my husband...just pointed out d new strands of hair growing under my chin..... someones not getn laid tonight.