@leechee420: Accidentally ate the sticker on my apple. This wouldn't have happened if it had been a Snickers.
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@LimeyTheGreat: Panty-less waxed woman hanging off a bridge "I'm gonna jump into that canoe". Me: "No that's your reflection".
@Reverend_Scott: customer service: so the vacuum works just fine but you want to return it cuz it's... too loud? me: [looks over at dog] that is correct