@leechee420: Accidentally ate the sticker on my apple. This wouldn't have happened if it had been a Snickers.
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@birbigs: Instead of presents, give your kids "presence." Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever.
@robfee: Dang girl are you the police on Grand Theft Auto, because 2 minutes after I leave you forget all about me & move on to someone else.
@3sunzzz: This chicken is so moist, what is your secret? I squeeze a little KY Jelly into its cavity before heating.