@ch000ch: accidentally called out my dentist's name during my colonoscopy
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@PeachesMcPeach: I'm at my sexiest when I'm at a stoplight and a teenage boy is checking me out then suddenly realizes his horrific mistake.
@VerbsRProudest: If you tell me my life would be SO much easier if I'd organize everything, I swear I will stab you with a fork. As soon as I find my fork.
@Carbosly: I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.
@ericsshadow: SON: I'm moving out as soon as I turn 18 and you can't stop me. ME: [pumping fist] If you insist.