@ch000ch: accidentally called out my dentist's name during my colonoscopy
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@jdforshort: If flying by the seat of your pants was so easy, do you think I would still be dealing with morning traffic to get to work?
@Barknado69: [Marriage Counseling] Her: he always mixes two common sayings together that aren't relevant Me: well, blood is thicker than the early bird
@awkwardphilippe: [opens fortune cookie] -You will have a great night "aw, that's neat, wait there's more" [unrolls note further] marish clown assassinate you