@kentgrossarth: Accidentally dialed 911 so I set my neighbor's house on fire so I wouldn't look stupid.
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@lemonmartinis: How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some earbuds in your pocket 2) wait one minute
@Terdoh: Quit bragging yo. Jesus drove a Honda back in Bible days and said nothing of it. "For I speak not of my own accord" John 12:49 a.
@liv_thatsme: We desperately need something to unite humanity. No, not love or compassion. I'm talking about a full scale alien attack.
@MadcapsTPS: Yes I brought my own shot glasses and started a party at my table, but is that really a reason to throw someone out? Worst library ever.