@Bownuggets: Accidentally dropped a magic mushroom in my cats litter box & now he's laying across the driveway staring at the stars & quoting Kierkegaard
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@Bluestmoon_: My neighbors wifi isn't working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?
@stockejock: When a cop pulls you over for a DUI at 2am on Friday night & tells you to walk the line-it's never good to start singing Johnny Cash songs.
@SemFitty: *wear sunscreen* *go up to a guy named Ray and punch him in the nose* *now laugh because sunscreen protects you from ultra violent Rays*
@Baldylockzzz: Look girl, all I'm saying is , if I have to choose between you and chocolate milk Be prepared to cry