@FilthyRichmond: Accidentally got two shots of hand sanitizer so if you need me I'll be rubbing my hands together for the rest of my life.
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@murrman5: good news and bad news. bad news is the dog pissed on the bed "we don't have a dog" *smiles getting ready to deliver the good news*
@joshgondelman: Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say "You haven't seen The Wire?" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying.