@NoticablyBacon: Accidentally just told a girl that "she has a nice head" because I appearently have the flirting skills of a serial killer
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@TimmyPumpkin: *takes a sip* this wine has a full body, hint of honey, and a rich pallet. "sir that's windex." yes, yes, ill take a bottle.
@davedittell: can't believe Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter, what are the odds? still, he accomplished a lot for a four month year old.
@rolldiggity: 1. Invite snowmen into your conference room. 2. Turn up heat. 3. Negotiate on YOUR terms.
@KyleMcDowell86: *I reach for the thermostat* *my dad runs in barking* *neighbor's dad starts barking* *within seconds all the neighborhood dads are barking*