@NoticablyBacon: Accidentally just told a girl that "she has a nice head" because I appearently have the flirting skills of a serial killer
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@mewritesgood: I bought my nephew a drum set because: A) I'm an awesome uncle B) Learning to play an instrument is important C) I hate my sister
@markydoodoo: *sees a meteor* I wonder where that's landing. Maybe if I run fast enough I can get crushed by it.
@CraigChamberlin: Apparently "What inning is it?" is not a valid Football related question. Sports are hard.
@TheAlexNevil: Whoever said "Just showing up is half the battle" (a) didn't understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up.