@Sassafrantz: Accidentally left my phone at home, now I know how Kevin McCallister's parents felt.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@captaincoximus: If I could pick a superpower it would be to clone myself so the other me could answer the 4,291,386 questions my 4 year old asks daily
@shopkins776: Gf: "You want to know what your problem is?" Me: *looks at watch* "Ok, but our dinner reservation is in six hours"
@Philosopherbing: Actual warning I saw in a pamphlet: "You may be at risk for throat cancer if you have a throat or mouth." Oh shit....
@envydatropic: I've been on my best behavior ever since the words "you can be charged as an adult" applied to me