@stopbylater: Accidentally left my shopping list on the kitchen bench so had to rely on memory. Came home with a tub of icecream & a pony.
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@GalaxyKate: Academic paper protip: end your Conclusion section with "just as the old woman in the forest predicted" or "in defiance of the prophecies"
@robdelaney: I #respectfully #trot when you let me cross the street in front of you. I salute the #power of the automobile.
@Kristen_Arnett: sibling culture is not talking to each other for awhile and then texting them “this is you” along with a picture of an ugly bird you found online
@LADaddy: The person who came up with "happily ever after" probably didn't realize humans would live longer than 34 years.