@punmagnate: Accidentally made eye contact w/co-worker thru bathroom stall door crack. Didn't know what to do so I blew him a kiss
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@Donna_McCoy: Nothing stops me in my tracks faster than a five year old saying, "I got you a present!"
@AmishPornStar1: Apparently, lifting your feet so she can reach underneath, Is NOT considered "helping her vacuum." Lesson learned, fellas. Lesson learned.
@HelsNotAllowed: My boyfriend isn't allowed to have candles on his birthday cake...Wtf are you wishing for? All your dreams came true when you met me.